20 Apr 2013
I was born in Slovakia where I spent the first 19 years of my life. In june I will be 24 and for the past 5 years I have been travelling the world, earning money in several countries, looking for my true self, for the real purpose of existence.
I have never been paid for something I love to do. Everything was just a simple work I learned quickly and soon got bored with it because it didn‘t require anymore learning, improving, no challenge or progress in a way I seek. In opening my mind to new informations, opinions, realizations; in sharping skills and shaping character.
I remember myself being a kid truly concerned with the sad side of the world. I suffered very much when I heard about the cruelty caused on animals and when I saw with my own eyes the increasing pollution around me. Since the age of 7 I've been visiting local animal shelter to take the dogs out for a walk, show them some affection and give them some love they craved so much. I've also been feeding the ducks in our small river, planting the flowers in front of our apartment block and picking the garbage up from the ground, putting it in the bin where it belongs. I made an aspiration that when "I grow up" I'll change the world. Or at least try.
Although as a small girl I craved to save the planet, in my adolescence I forgot the beautiful purpose I chose when my mind was still pure and playful, joyful. I became obsessed with New York city and the world of rich. When it was time to choose the career path and go to University my deluded mind decided to become a marketing genius and earn big money. However destiny or karma stepped in and at the age of 19 I had to leave home and for the lack of finance and no possible support from my family I couldn‘t go to the University anymore, so as an unskilled high-school graduate I had to start to earn money to survive in today's society, live by myself, and I felt I had to find the purpose of life again.
And so I travelled and performed simple work. I started in Slovakias capital, moved to Prague, later England where, having only TV to watch and factory work to do, I quite quickly learned how to speak english and thanks to learning from subtitles as well, also reading and writing.
And then after years of fascination, I finally went to New York City. Living in the world I was admiring from books, movies, pictures, the world I dreamt of for years, I was gutted I didn‘t feel the happiness I expected. And it was like that- shopping, partying, waking up on Upper East Side, money, wealth. I ceased seeing material comforts as the way to make one truly peaceful, happy and satisfied.
After New York city I traveled through Europe working on a cruise ship, and later lived in Amsterdam, spending most of my time in solitude. Both experiences as well as the informations about eastern ways of living and the paths to liberation that suddenly started to appear from
everywhere, helped me to realize where the true happiness lies. That it is there within waiting to be awakened and it is interconnected with the well being and happiness of others and the healthy enviroment. I realized that I can save money instead of wasting it on material goods (by buying which you might quiet down the cravings of spirit within). And that I can travel and explore the world I live in in order to achieve the peace of mind.
After collecting neccessary funds for a flight and basic living needs I left Amsterdam for India. I am not much of a Lonely Planet user or a person who plans every step he takes. I usually follow my intuition with a strong feeling of knowing that I will end up in a place I am meant to be in. Arriving in India, so different from anything I'd ever seen before, I was surprised how quickly I adjusted to completely different culture. I loved the simple life and carelessness and most of all sincereness of indian people. Of course I suffered the consequences of being from west- and so being "rich" in the eyes of Indians; or feeling awkward when there's 200 pairs of eyes watching you all the time. After a short time though, I somehow created a protecting sheet with still maintaining approachable; I learned how to say with one look that I am not interested in buying something I don‘t need; I learned how to distinguish which begging person really does need a help; I got used to being stared at, because I knew I was different but the feeling of belonging I felt made me not to mind at all. I was welcoming the small talk "You come from?" with a big smile and patience.
For a first few weeks I travelled with fellow travellers from the West. Most of them had the Lonely Planet so we just followed recommendations from there. For some reason I felt restless, my finances were running low even though everything in India was so cheap and I just felt that something was really wrong. I came to India for spiritual development but all I did was being a tourist in an exotic country following the crowds to sacred places that long ago lost their magic under the footprints of tourists with newest Cannons and Nikons in their hands.
And so one morning I decided to abandon all of that and I started to walk. This decision along with taking right, by intuition chosen steps, led me to meeting with an indian driver called Devi with whom I developed nice friendship and who invited me to live with his family. I came to a small village surrounded by the vast, beautifully green rice fields under the monumental Himalayas. It was a paradise. The family lived in a stone house that contained of one room and one kitchen. They improvized and assembled a room for me in a part of house that was under construction for decades and at that moment was a storage room for rice and concrete. But I loved it, it was home. I spent four months living with this family, exploring the area around. Once I discovered a small tibetan community, where I was spending time in the monasteries developing my meditation techniques and studying buddhism. With the help of homeopathic doctor (for whom I volunteered several times and we provided medicine in remote parts of Himalayas or extremelly poor communities) I was able to run my own "animal rescue". We tried to help sick and injured dogs, sometimes I had to take the jumpy goat off the fence. I raised 4 beautiful orphaned himalayan puppies and eventually found them home in the nearby monasteries. (when I came back to India for the second time I was very happy to see how well they're doing).
I became a part of Devi‘s family. The moment grandpa "bapu" touched my feet to show me respect; his stories roughly translated by my indian sister Minu; the night sky full of stars and milky way so bright it blows your mind; the night of diwali with my other indian sister Shinu playing on those indian drums I can‘t remember the name of and us dancing with the bare feet under the light of the moon; the spicy indian meals cooked on the fire while we're sitting cross-legged on the ground in the simplest kitchen; the stories of Krishna and Shiwa and their miracles; and much much more, those are the things I will never forget.
I had prayed to find a teacher and India herself it became. I now know what true happiness is and where to look for it. I now know how it feels to help someone (and to be helped) without expecting anything back which is actually the most beautiful reward of all. Selflessness.
Living half a year in India made me very confused as well though. I started to question the value of money and notice the differences between the east and the west. This confusion only deepened after I had moved to United Arab Emirates where I worked in the sports bar in Abu Dhabi. I had to earn money. . .
I saw a family with 11 members live out of 100 euros per month, being perfectly happy. And then I remembered people in NYC, earning per hour what this family had in a month. And in UAE, meeting people so rich I can‘t even imagine that much money, but stressed, lost and sad- that's when I seriously started to question our society and the system we live in. It also did not make any sense to me, when I saw someone from the third world country- it were mostly indian, bangladeshi, filipino people, work on building a skyscraper in the killing heat of arabic desert and earn amount of money per month that average arab or westerner living in UAE spends on one lunch. Leaving plenty of leftovers to be thrown away while millions of people are starving around the world. I just don‘t understand and I can‘t go through life pretending to be oblivious to those things.
(I will return to those and other issues the world is currently facing later on, as soon as I finish my story.)
However if you are oblivious to what's going on around you, you can create a "happy bubble" and live a nice drama-free life in UAE. I didn‘t want to do that though. I took advantage of the first opportunity I got and went to India for a few weeks during the month of ramadan, to recharge my batteries. I came back determined to leave the job that does not make me grow spiritually or intelectually as soon as I save up some money and go to travel again.
And so I travelled through thailand, where I studied buddhism and got first glimpses of modern physics too. And then moved to New Zealand- the greenest country of the world. And it was as green and beautiful as I had expected. And after 5 months in a concrete jungle on the desert, it was too green. There was a work promised to me but that never happened. I spent some time living with a friend, whos‘ lifestyle (and all those around her) proved to be completely different from what I had expected. We lived in a place called Whitianga. Beautiful small town with kilometres of long sandy beaches. I had naive expectations that everyone must be a nature lover and have enviroment-friendly roots deep in their consciousness. But they were all just people lost in that drama called life, drinking every night, sleeping all day, forgetting to live. They hardly cared about the beauty that surrounded them. When we went to the beach, we had to stay in and watch it from the car. When the wind blew, it was too windy to go outside when the sun was up it was too hot to be out. I was just so different- me not drinking because I just dont like how slow my mind is when it's drunk; spending 18 hours of the day outside, no matter what the weather, walking and wondering about life and the world and getting life energy from the sun. I just knew that that wasn‘t what I came to New Zealand for. I felt the urge to go.
And so one day, with last 15dollars, I packed my backpack and left. Thank God, I did. For 2 months I mostly walked and hitchhiked through the Coromandel penninsula on the east coast of North Island down to the Bay of plenty.
I was very fortunate to meet people, wonderful people, who were happy to help me. I did some gardening or easy construction work in exchange for food and shelter. I was just following my inner-voice that always took me to the right place at the right time. I met people living a life-style I've never seen before but which inspired me very much. There were people living deep in the bush, with no neighbours, no roads, very limited internet and phone access. They built their own houses from the scratch, using the used things that could be used again!! It was wonderful and inspiring. They created electricity using the solar panels, in some cases even the flow of the river or waterfall. They were self-sufficient in all their needs- they grew their own food, fresh, organic fruits and vegetables; chickens, cows, pigs provided fresh eggs, milk and meat. Very few things went to waste; organic waste was used as a compost, material waste- plastic, bottles, pretty much anything that could have been recycled, actually had been recycled.
These experiences inspired me and helped me to shape the picture of my future plans, the way I want to live once I decide to settle down.
During my travels through New Zealand I also got to know the Maori people, their culture, medicine and I was amazed to see their connectedness and respect to nature. I slept on the roof of their house, deep in the bush-the sacred land of the Tuhoe tribe. The bush was returned to them in August 2012 after many years of being under english occupation.
I slept on the beaches, hills, small islands in the ocean, I built the tent in the gardens. I was always very lucky to get a hitch by open-minded people who listened to my stories, ideas and opinions whole-heartidly and who shared theirs with me. From the air-force pilot to primary school teacher, farmers and managers to priests, doctors, truck-drivers and many more. While my wanderings few times I encountered endangered animals- small duckling running confused on the street, or the bird in shock on the highway. And so I helped, tried to and hopefully did save their lifes.
While I was wandering through this beautiful country I found out that New Zealand is actually only 37% forested. That the remaining 63% had been cut down in order to create better conditions for farming. Yes, maybe 37% is much higher number compare to the rest of the world but considering the vast places where the trees could grow (and produce the fresh air we need so much), I was little dissppointed.
Especially after the research I did on the global warming and pollution in the atmosphere. And when I found out that the co2 increasing in the air can be absorbed by some marina bacterias and the oceans- but we also do pollute those; I just lost any interest in contributing to and being part of such a destructive society.
I feel a great desire of doing something, changing things. Yes, for years I've been saving animals, picking up the garbage off the ground, and trying to minimaze my own waste, using the plastic bag as many times as I can until it doesn‘t fall apart. But right now I feel I need to be a part of something bigger. I need to learn about those things, get more informations and meet people with whom I can share opinions. Work hard to protect the mother Earth.
In a near future though I do plan on walking/hitchhiking/using only local-NOT TOURIST-transport around the earth, spreading my message. There's more than 50% of humankind living on less than 2$ per day. While 1% of population owns 40% of the planet‘s wealth. There's tons of food being thrown away on daily basis in the West while people are dying from hunger in other parts of the world. There's rivers and streams being polluted while it is the only source of drinking water for us in the so far known Universe; and the trees are being cut down while they produce the air we breath in order to live. The animals are being killed, so they can hang on someones wall.
And for what? For MONEY?! I have seen an extreme poverty and an incredible wealth. I know the answer but let me rhetorically ask you- Can money improve our health, bring us peace, make us love? (except for the golddigger ladies)
None of this makes any sense to me.
And so I want to go and make a cyrcle around the Earth, I want to live on 2 dollars per day. Although I am only one small person out of nearly 7 billions of people, I will do my best to make a difference.
Looking at the world and the collective state of human consciousness, I dont think the evolution will lead to intelectual and so technical and material further developments causing the Earth's slow and with more progress in this field quicker death. The human consciousness will have to undergo spiritual revolution, enlightenment. And we will have to start saving our mother Earth, Nature. Because as it is an unseparable part of us, and we are its unseparable part; if it dies, we die.
People don‘t see this. They're working 9-5, most of them having the job they hate. Then they come home, turn on the TV and watch news that only show how ugly the world out there is. Violence, wars, political and economical crisis. News being interrupted only by commercials that say "If you buy THIS, your life will be easier!! And if you don‘t have enough, get a loan, sign your soul to the evil banking system!!" and so they do. They create their small worlds in which they think they're safe from that ugly world "out there". People forgot that the world out there is as well their home as their small fort with newest technology they ordered from teleselling. And that they need to protect it as much.
But I am ever-positive person. I believe that fundamental core of all humans is goodness and compassion. I still believe there is a hope for us to wake up. And I do want to actively participate in this awakening.